More Than Just Screen Time: Why Young People Retreat Online

This article is brought to you by Adolescent Boys Clinical Practitioner, Liam

We’ve all seen it. A young person hunched over a screen, headphones on and completely absorbed in a game or a stream of videos. It’s easy to react with frustration, assuming apathy or addiction. But what if it’s not laziness or obsession we’re seeing? What if it’s a way of coping?

A 2023 report from the Black Dog Institute found that one in three young people aged 12-17 use digital platforms to manage feelings of stress, anxiety, and loneliness.

When offline life feels overwhelming or disconnected, online spaces can provide relief, structure, and a sense of control. In these cases, screen time isn’t about avoiding life – it’s about finding connection.

For many adolescents, the control and predictability found during social gaming sessions can result in increased feelings of social connection, especially during periods of stress (Kowal et al. 2021). These online spaces offer far more than distraction. They can be a place where a young person feels skilled, seen and a part of something.

But there’s another side to the story.

Sometimes, spending time online doesn’t help young people feel more connected. It can leave them feeling stuck. Passive scrolling, comparing themselves to others, cyberbullying, and disrupted sleep patterns can all impact a young person’s emotional wellbeing and mental health. When online activity becomes constant or an unmoderated form of escape, the risk of worsening mental health can increase. (Black Dog Institute, 2023).

It’s important to remember that technology itself isn’t the problem. A young person collaborating on a Minecraft project with friends for a few hours a week has a very different online experience to one lying in bed all day comparing themselves to others’ highlight reels. What matters is how and why the technology is being used.

Setting boundaries can help, but they work best when young people are included in the process and can see the value in them. Otherwise, limits can feel unfair and lead to feelings of scarcity and fear, potentially leading to more screen time rather than less.

A more effective approach can be to model a responsible relationship with technology, showing young people that it’s okay to switch off once the activity feels complete.

In times when setting boundaries and modelling behaviour isn’t enough, it might be helpful to shift your approach from control to curiosity.

Instead of reacting to a long stretch of screen use, try responding to the unspoken call for engagement. Sit with the young person, join in, and find out what it is they are getting from their time with technology. This can open up opportunities to connect with the disconnect. It also allows us to model healthy choices and awareness of our own tech use, encouraging young people to do the same.

When handled gently and without judgement, these moments can spark reflection instead of resistance, paving the way for open conversations and intentional technology choices.

Our counsellors and range of online resources can help build healthier habits around technology and mental health for yourself and those you care about. Reach out today to get started.

References

Black Dog Institute. (2023). Youth digital habits and mental health. Black Dog Institute. https://blackdoginstitute.org.au/research-projects/teens-screens-adolescent-mental-health-screen-use/

Kowal, M., Conroy, E., Ramsbottom, N., Smithies, T., Toth, A. J., & Campbell, M. J. (2021). Gaming your mental health: A narrative review on mitigating symptoms of depression and anxiety using commercial video games. JMIR Serious Games, 9(2), e26575. https://doi.org/10.2196/26575